How to Work with Difficult People

In your workplace, you’re likely to encounter colleagues with different opinions, work methods and ideological practices than yours. This disconnect can sometimes lead to conflict at work. Having an understanding of the best ways to work with those who work differently than you can help keep your workplace a positive and enjoyable place to be.

So, why are some colleagues difficult to work with?

Some of your colleagues may have trouble getting along with anyone else at work, while others seem to present you with a personal challenge. I’m sure you have come across one or two colleagues you’ve had trouble working with. Let’s look at a few common reasons why people may not work well together.

Different opinions: People who have a very different idea than you about how to perform a project or manage a client are challenging to work with because it’s hard to find a compromise that suits both of you.
Oversharing: There are people who love to talk and share information, both personal and professional, at work, and others who prefer to focus on their assignments and avoid unnecessary conversation.
Doing the minimum: Almost every company has an employee or two who have a tendancy to perform the fewest tasks they can while at work, leaving their colleagues to overcompensate.
Varying outlooks: Generally, people are either inclined to optimism or to pessimism. Different outlooks and perspectives can impact work relationships.
Overly independent: Some employees love teamwork, while others prefer to work alone. When an independent worker is having a hard time contributing to a group project, relationships (and work product) can suffer

Learning how to work with and manage difficult people at the workplace is a skill we should all possess. Here are a few strategies to help you effectively manage challenging relationships and find success in your workplace:

Examine your reaction

First, notice when you’re reacting to something the person is doing. Identify your feelings—anger, disgust, resentment—and determine what behavior, action or inaction is causing you to feel that way. Take time to figure out the cause and effect, so you’ll know the best way to address the issue.

Stay calm

When the annoying behavior or action happens, particularly if it’s recurring, stay calm. Remind yourself that acting out in anger never solves any problems, and it’s best if you address the situation when you’re in control of your emotions. If the action or behavior is too distracting, remove yourself from the situation.

Share your feelings with a friend

share with friends

Talk about the situation with a trusted colleague or friend outside of your organization. Talk to them about the action or behavior that’s bothering you and how you respond to it. Seek advice or guidance and determine a few strategies for managing the problem.

Avoid when possible

If it’s possible, simply avoid the behavior or situation as a means of managing potential conflict.

Discuss the issue privately

If you cannot avoid the situation or it’s causing you to constantly lose focus on your work, it’s best to address the situation with the difficult coworker directly. Try to do it privately to avoid any embarrassment for your colleague. Plan ahead what you want to say so that you’re ready for the conversation.

Be empathetic

Show empathy during the conversation. Your colleague may not be aware of the behavior or action that’s stressing you. Also, try to avoid judgements. Use observations instead and focus on your point of view and feelings rather than theirs.

Seek common ground

If the situation requires a compromise from both of you, consider what you’re willing to do to contribute to the solution. Remember, you and your co-worker are on the same team.

Remain respectful

Your colleague might feel embarrassed or ashamed when you tell them of the unfavorable action or behavior. Make sure to treat them with respect regardless of their reaction. However, if they don’t treat you with respect, conclude the conversation and remove yourself from the situation.

Know what to ask

Plan ahead what you’ll ask your colleague before your conversation. This ensures you can suggest for them to try to help rectify their behavior even if they feel overwhelmed.

Know when to address matters publicly

In cases a colleague oversteps a boundary by saying or doing something inappropriate, address the behavior immediately even if it’s in the presence of other employees, rather than waiting to have a private conversation.

Include your manager

If all other strategies to manage the conflict have failed, it’s time to involve your manager. If the behavior is dangerous, you should immediately involve your manager and not worry about addressing the conflict yourself first. Create a plan before your meeting, so you have a clear idea of what information you want to share and what outcome you’re seeking.

At Finstock Evarsity College, we offer a number of conflict resolution courses aimed at improving your conflict resolution skills. Click on the links below for more information.